How to Manage an Employee Who Wants Your Job

I rose to the ranks of senior director at the age of 27 in a male-dominated field (sports media) using my social science background to crack the interpersonal code. Here’s how. 

Every manager knows the type. Maybe you’re an external hire and someone on your team is unhappy you got the job instead of them. Or maybe it’s someone at your previous level who resents that you were the one to be promoted. Whatever the reasoning, someone thinks they could do your job better — a troublesome dynamic to navigate as a manager. 

In this spot, your instincts might tell you to lay down the law. Show them you’re in charge and remind them, quite literally, who’s boss. Maybe you lean toward micromanagement to control their every second, making sure they’re left without any time to stoke the fires of revolution. 

Resist these urges! 

You are in your position for a reason. One or likely several leaders at your company determined you were the right person for the job. Anyone doubting that assessment is free to do so, and you’re free to be unburdened by those doubts. Security and confidence are a superpower. Being able to admit what you don’t know or that you have more to learn is how you nurture that power. Ego shouldn’t enter the equation — great managers know that leading the team is a specialized role, but not a more important one. 

Instead of feeding into the power struggle and looking insecure, you need to remember something that is fundamental to being a good manager: Work is a team sport and you’re just the coach. And there’s nothing better than having someone on your team who feels like they are being underutilized. You have a new star player in the making. 

That doesn’t mean you need to hear out their every qualm and why it should have been them, that’s unproductive. 

Set up time (like during your weekly 1:1) to communicate you know they’re an expert on the inner workings of this team, and you’d love to hear any ideas they have been wanting to try out or maybe the processes they’ve been eyeing for a revamp. Almost every time, all this person is really hoping for is to feel seen and appreciated. That means they will embrace your request and share some ideas that could better the team. You get improved output and an employee to credit in a public way. (More on how to credit members of your team and why it makes you look good.)

In the words of Ted Lasso, “He thinks he's mad now, wait till we win him over.” (I’m a millennial, sorry.)

Hopefully this even leads to being able to start building the case for that employee’s promotion. Don’t underestimate how much credit you’ll get as a leader for having an impressive coaching tree once you get into the habit of championing your stars.  

Now I’m sure you’re thinking, “That’s all well and good, but what about the times when the employee isn’t looking for an opportunity? They really just want to complain.”

Therein lies the real genius of this strategy; it’s also an effective tool to handle those types of team members. 

Maybe they didn’t put much thought into their team proposal when they applied for the promo, thinking instead that seniority or some other banal qualification was the most important thing. The heart of it is that they feel as though they can do your job better than you can. 

By giving them the platform to show off the superiority they claim to have, you give them the chance to prove it. If they don’t seize the chance, that’s on them. And if they come around and rise to the opportunity, the team will be better for it.

An elegant solution — my favorite kind.